Tips on concieving (Quite possibly TMI)

These are the top tips that I love hearing! I seriously laugh about them long after the conversation is over! I love these tips because they are meant to be taken light heartedly, and who knows, but laughing really hard over conception tips may be the trick; )

Stand on your head! It's how I got pregnant with (insert child's name here)!
I love this! And I love the woman who told me this is what I need to be doing even more! This was the actual conversation:
T: Are you standing on your head after the deed? Because that's how I got pregnant with my first baby!
M: No. Standing on my head involves being suffocated my boobs.
T: Then your husband should be holding them for you.
M: How do you think we got into this situation in the first place?
T: Oh! Right!

Sidenote- holding my boobs to get me in the mood isn't something that happens. Normally.... HAHAHA

Are you sure you don't want to try another penis?
I love the woman that asked me this! I love it even more that this was yelled at me in the healthfood store that she works at: ) After I told her that I REALLY REALLY REALLY like the penis I've been using, she proceeded to offer (and re-instill what others have offered) me the next tip on the list.

You need to get drunk and chain smoke!
Apparently Jeff and I have been coming at this all wrong! This pretty much seems to be the cause of most pregnancies (at least for teen pregnancies, unplanned pregnancies, and most planned pregnancies too!) Hmmm. Maybe tonight; )

Are you sure you're doing it right?
I love hearing this from grammas especially! I then feel the need to ask them if they think sex is still the same as when they were my age: ) Please correct me if I'm wrong, but concieving involves just holding hands right?

Buy a really long turkey baster!
As funny as I think this is. I actually know 3 people this worked for. I may not knock it; )

Things you do while trying to concieve:

• Promise people you and your husband really do have sex!
• Play 'The Great Sperm Race' on your computer and point the screen towards your husbands testicles.
• Shop for your unconcieved, unborn children!
• Yell at your cervix to stop murdering sperm!
• You plan your social outings around the time you ovulate (Sorry; ) )

P.s. Thank you to the women who tell me these things so I can laugh about it! It truly means the world to me!: )

To do:

Yesterday I tweaker cleaned my house: ) It still smells like a pool: ) In fact, my hands still smell like bleach; that is how I know I did a fantastic job! Today is organizing my cabinets, pantry, and garage. I am not looking forward to our garage. It's been my husbands dumping ground for anything Army. The pile(s) he's been making take over literally half of the garage and some are as tall as my waist. Not. Fun.

I bought material to make my very first skirt the other day. I'm not sure how it will turn out, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will be good! I'll post pictures! I'm hoping to start it today, it may be tomorrow though! I really have to get this baby blanket done! I'm about 3/4 of the way done with knitting the blanket, but then I have to start on the ribbon to go around it! I really hope it turns out as beautiful as it has in my head!

my last thought this morning: It's Tuesday, January 11. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? TEEN MOM 2 STARTS TONIGHT, AND JENELLE IS GOING TO GET REPRIMANDED FOR BEING A CRAPPY MOM. No, I'm not excited in the least: )

Much ado about nothing

So I am no longer enrolled in any MA classes and I won't be able to go back to school until next quarter: ( So I've decided I am going to craft-ify our house even more: ) Don't worry, I'll post pictures! For my first project, I am seeing our monogram, but that's all I will give out!

Last night we celebrated a good friend's birthday at a dueling piano bar! It was a blast! The pianists were awesome! As well as great sports, they sang Spice Girls Wannabe, with only slight grumbling: )
After we got home, I watched a movie called Letters To God. It's been on my Netflix instant que for months now and I hadn't watched it. I totally forgot it was on there, until I walked into Family Christian yesterday, looking for a few books to read, and saw it on the shelf. I didn't buy it, but made a mental note to watch it. It's phenominal. Definately a tear jerker. Don't tell Jeff I'm writing this, but even he got a little choked up. I highly recommend watching it!

While I was at Family Christian yesterday, one of the guys that works there was telling jokes. I think I finally found a joke that is almost as good as this one my dad told me when I was Little Britty:
Q: Where does the General keep his armies?
A: Up his SLEEVIES!

BAHAHAHAH

This is the new joke:

A teacher had just gotten a few foreign exchange students in her class, and she wanted them to learn about colors. So she asked the students to use green, pink and yellow in a sentance. The students thought about it, and finally one kid raised his hand. The teacher asked him what his sentance was, and he said:
When the phone goes green, green, I pink it up and say yellow!


hahahahahahhahahahhaahahah

I know who ever reads this will use one of those jokes today: )


I had another acupuncture appointment earlier this week, and I am sad to say that there is not a baby in our family yet; ( I have high hopes for this coming month though!!! Please send us prayers, or wish us luck, we'll take which ever you send us!

Life

So today was the first day of the new quarter for my classes. I think they are going to be fantastic, but I'm dropping all of them. It just hit me that there is no way I can do the medical feild. I have no idea how I got through phlebotomy, I hate blood. I probably won't be in school this quarter, but I am going to transfer to another school and finish up my degree in Social Service Mental Health. It's almost like what I was going to go to school for originally, just 10 years less of school: ) And who knows, I may end up going 10 years! But this will start it. With my AA in favor of psychology under my belt, I reall only need 2 quarters left for this degree! And then I can go to work and help people in crisis! YAY!

On an even better note! Jeff and I had ordered new dishes from T.S. Berger Pottery over summer leave, and THEY JUST CAME TODAY via UPS! OH MY GOSH! It was seriously like Christmas ALL OVER AGAIN! There were 8 boxes!

This is what my normally spotless livingroom looked like after everything was unpacked

It looks like hell.

This is what it our new dinnerware looks like!! EEP!!!

8-dinner plates
8 salad plates
8-bread plates
8-normal people bowls
8- Brittany sized salad bowls (that's literally what the receipt said: ) hahaha)
8-mugs
1- popcorn bowl
1-serving platter


This only took us two years to decide. I didn't realise that dinnerware was so exhausting and long. But I am sooo glad we held out! These are absolutely beautiful! He had made us a large bowl for our wedding gift (it's BEAUTIFUL), so we decided to use the same colors, but pick a different pattern! I love that these are one-of-a-kind, made by someone we love, and are beautiful!

The End: )