Stand on your head! It's how I got pregnant with (insert child's name here)!
I love this! And I love the woman who told me this is what I need to be doing even more! This was the actual conversation:
T: Are you standing on your head after the deed? Because that's how I got pregnant with my first baby!
M: No. Standing on my head involves being suffocated my boobs.
T: Then your husband should be holding them for you.
M: How do you think we got into this situation in the first place?
T: Oh! Right!
Sidenote- holding my boobs to get me in the mood isn't something that happens. Normally.... HAHAHA
Are you sure you don't want to try another penis?
I love the woman that asked me this! I love it even more that this was yelled at me in the healthfood store that she works at: ) After I told her that I REALLY REALLY REALLY like the penis I've been using, she proceeded to offer (and re-instill what others have offered) me the next tip on the list.
You need to get drunk and chain smoke!
Apparently Jeff and I have been coming at this all wrong! This pretty much seems to be the cause of most pregnancies (at least for teen pregnancies, unplanned pregnancies, and most planned pregnancies too!) Hmmm. Maybe tonight; )
Are you sure you're doing it right?
I love hearing this from grammas especially! I then feel the need to ask them if they think sex is still the same as when they were my age: ) Please correct me if I'm wrong, but concieving involves just holding hands right?
Buy a really long turkey baster!
As funny as I think this is. I actually know 3 people this worked for. I may not knock it; )
Things you do while trying to concieve:
- Promise people you and your husband really do have sex!
- Play 'The Great Sperm Race' on your computer and point the screen towards your husbands testicles.
- Shop for your unconcieved, unborn children!
- Yell at your cervix to stop murdering sperm!
- You plan your social outings around the time you ovulate (Sorry; ) )
P.s. Thank you to the women who tell me these things so I can laugh about it! It truly means the world to me!: )
haha this post reminds me of my funny greek joke :) it is possible you are doing it wrong..........
ReplyDeleteOh.... Is that why it's not working?! BAHAHAHA
ReplyDeleteI just came across your blog and had to comment. I'm an LCSW married to a sailor. I have to say the standing on your head thing may work but I know lying on your back after the deed and doing the bicycle in the 1980's Jane Fonda style definitely works. LOL. I too was asked if we were doing it correctly but when a group of psychotherapists ask you it really does make you question your sanity...and your approach.
ReplyDelete